Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

Apparently this:
{
“total”: “2”,
“page”: “1”,
“records”: “2”,
“rows”: [
{
“id”: “1”,
“cell”: [“Michael Smith”, “Wanker”]
},
{
“id”: “2”,
“cell”: [“Raymond Shaw”, “Also Wanker”]
}
]
}

Is not equivalent to this:
{
total: “2”,
page: “1”,
records: “2”,
rows: [
{
id: “1”,
cell: [“Michael Smith”, “Wanker”]
},
{
id: “2”,
cell: [“Raymond Shaw”, “Also Wanker”]
}
]
}

While the JS that defines the grid doesn’t require quotes around key names in hashes, the JSON data returned from the server does…?

Well, it’s working now. I’m going to go find a baby to punch to relieve my frustration.